In the course of rebuilding my website to express each of my eclectic interests I have finished the blog dedicated to my experiences playing football. I think the topic of rebuilding is appropriate both structurally with the website and physically with training. It has been a rough off season for me.

As you may know, our season begins in April and ends in June. Playoffs, which we have not yet experienced, are in July. Last year ended on a three game losing streak. We played well, but injuries kept some of our best players at low production. All in all the 4 and 4 season is something to be proud about for both players and coaches. It was a strong rebuilding year for us.

In the off season our special teams coach, Billy Lewis, put together a co-ed team for a Toledo area touch football league. It was a huge recruiting opportunity for us and an opportunity for me to play other positions. Don’t get me wrong, I know how important the O line is, but I have a pretty good arm. Being low on the QB depth chart is nice, but the touch league gave me an opportunity to really throw.

It was great. I was having a ton of fun and we were making some great contacts for the team. We weren’t winning, but we were having a great deal of fun and staying in shape. I was getting to throw the ball, it was great. Then I pulled my groin muscle. Specifically the adductor longus.

For the next month everything hurt. Walking, standing, going up stairs, laughing, coughing, sneezing and yawning. I was reminded daily of the pull. I didn’t tell anyone (I am stupid like that) how bad it hurt. I just told a few people I pulled it and couldn’t run. I was still able to play in the touch league. I just threw with my arm instead of my body. My dad reminded me what a bad idea that was. I should really listen to him more.

After the fifth week, at the end of October, I was able to jog a little and was feeling generally better. We had a week off in the league and then played a double header. I felt very good. We had another quarterback at this game so I took a stab at receiver. I got a couple touchdowns and was feeling great. Then, as I tried to break past a defender for a deep ball, I pulled it again. This time it was worse. Searing, burning pain. I could barely walk. Again, I didn’t tell anyone.

Last season, in game three, I took a shot to my bad knee. I hyperextended it in high school which eventually led to surgery. I was worried that playing football had led to a re-injuring the knee and ending sports for me. I went to the doctor to be sure (hooray for insurance) only to find out that the pain I was feeling was not a major injury. I was fine, only superficially sore.

I thought this was more of the same. The pain was more intense but I was convinced it was nothing more than a pull. I decided to avoid the doctor and just stay off it. While it was likely not the most wise decision, I just didn’t want to be told I should stop playing football. I just didn’t do anything to stress the muscle for two months. This overcompensation was also not the most wise course.

In the end I think the muscle has healed. I participated in my first practice since the touch league last night and it feels fine. Well, all of my muscles are sore, but the pull seems to be ok. I just need to remain careful not to push it until I am in better shape all around. In the end, the muscle pull led to too much time totally inactive. My bad.

Now I have a ton of rebuilding to do.

Originally posted 05/20/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

We did not win vs. Indianapolis, but I did have a highlight or two.

Originally posted 05/09/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

My first touchdown pass.

tdpass

Originally posted 04/21/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

Getting the news today that my knee is intact in spite of being sore has reinvigorated my spirit for the game of football. I don’t think there was any worry I had lost the spirit for the game, but it was a dim light earlier in the week to be sure. I was a dim light earlier in the week, brighter mid day Tuesday as the stiffness abated, but dim nonetheless. Today the switch was flipped with four words from Dr. Gibson.

“Your knee is great.”

He went on to speak to me about the sports I have played and the measures I have taken the past 20 years to brace it. He talked about the differences a MCL injury can make in volleyball and softball. He gave advice on what exercises to do and not to do to build my leg strength for football. Then he asked a question I didn’t expect.

“Ms. Billick, you are 42 years old, why do you play football?”

I gave a glib answer that said something about love of the game and only being as old as you feel. He went on to say that he didn’t mean that a woman of 42 couldn’t be active. As I left the office in a euphoric shock of happiness and excitement for the next game my mind was ablaze. For the remainder of the day I didn’t give it much thought, but on the ride home we passed Dr. Gibson’s office and I began to think about his question. Why do I play football? Or maybe the more important question, who do I play for?

Without question first and foremost I play for God. My 20′s were a train wreck. I was vastly different from other girls and made to feel guilty for it from members of my original church. This left a distaste for religion for me. I made the mistake of blaming God for the judgement of men and I left him. I am thankful he didn’t leave me.
Through a bad marriage and years of self medication I searched for purpose and meaning. I hated myself, my job, my lot in life. I just hated. I turned a corner in 1997 two days before Christmas. Ask me one day, I will tell you the story.
The short version is I changed what I did not like. The change was hard and I would not have made it through without faith and hope. I had, and still have, an amazing base of friends who God gave me for stability and support. I didn’t know it then, but he was rebuilding the foundation of my spirituality.
In my 30′s I was reunited with softball at a deep level and the positive power a team can play in your life. The Dirty Girlz was a dream of sorts and every one of those girls still hold a giant place in my heart. That time was the beginning of my spiritual renaissance.
I began to go where God lead me, even when it felt counter to logic. That faithful path took me away from the Dirty Girlz and sports but took me to so much opportunity and greatness. It would be a lie if I were to say I didn’t, or don’t, miss softball and my team but it is a greater truth that my temporary move from Decatur has led to enormous blessing.
It was God who dropped a Reign alum into my workplace and led me to send an e-mail to head coach Mitchi Collette. Within 48 hours of that original e-mail I was given a play book and a number. Four days after that I signed. That is what letting God to the steering did for me.

An undeniable person I play for is my Dad. Daddy was a football coach before I was born. He was the high school quarterback who was involved in several sports. He played semi-professional basketball in the late 60′s and early 70′s.  In 1966 he and six other Jaycee members organized a youth league. In 1967 they earned not for profit status and officially became the JFL. My dad was a coach in the league for almost 20 years. He was instrumental in the league’s first expansion out of the city of Decatur, into the Mt. Zion system. The league now spans the central region of the state of Illinois and is the pre-high school foundation for many central Illinois football programs.
After he stopped coaching he was involved in the Mt. Zion high school football program by being the press box announcer for home games. During my time in high school and beyond he was the voice of Mt. Zion home games. Beginning in the middle 80′s he was a season ticket holder for Illinois Fighting Illini football and a gold lot pass holder. The group he tailgated with during this time was legend.
Consequently I was around the game from a very young age. I have been to more practices than I can count and absorbed as much as I could about the game all through life. This knowledge has been helpful in my rather abrupt introduction to the game. Coach Mitchi has included my dad in coaching me even though they have never met. She routinely tells me what to ask him to make a point to me.

I also play for the legacy of women’s football in Toledo. In 1930 two teams of women were formed in Toledo and took the field to be the first organized women’s professional football game. The two teams toured the central part of the nation playing each other in exhibition. In 1931 a letter from the first lady inspired the teams to disband and cease what she called exploitation. It would be almost 40 years before women’s football came back home.
In 1971 the WPFL expanded to include a team from Toledo called the Toledo Troopers. The Troopers were a powerhouse in women’s professional football. They remained undefeated for 5 years before losing their first game to the Oklahoma City Dolls 14 – 8 in 1976. Later that year, on December 11, they met the Dolls again in the championship. They took the title in a 13 -12 victory in a game that has become legend.
Between the years of 1971 and 1979 the Toledo Troopers had a record of 68 and 3. The team has been recognized by the NFL hall of fame as the winningest team in football history. Fitting for the city where women first faced each other on the grid iron.
Women’s football waxed and waned through the 80′s and 90′s in Toledo. Coach Mitchi tells me of an 8 year dry spell when she had to resort to softball. If ever you get the chance, ask her to tell the stories of a football player trying to adjust to softball. In 2002 women’s football in Toledo was set back in motion and in 2008 Thee Toledo Reign was formed. The 2008 season was their expansion season and introduction to the WFA. In 2008 they had a winning season and playoff success.
To be a part of Thee Toledo Reign is to be a part of the history of women’s football. Playing for the city where it started is invigorating and an honor beyond words.

Next to God the largest individual I play for is Coach Mitchi Collette. I am a firm believer in going where God leads me and God lead me to Coach Mitchi. In a relatively short time I have formed an allegiance to her stronger than any I have had with a coach in all my years of sports. She is amazing.
Mitchi was a part of the Toledo Trooper team of the 70′s and played in the legendary championship game of ’76. She was the first female head coach to be certified to coach at a professional level and routinely coaches at NFL camps to this day. She is football through and through and knows more about the game than I will ever learn.
Her love for the game and her team are apparent in her every breath. She has a devotion and commitment to every player and coach on her team and will walk the line for all of us. She has a passion for winning and fair play and crusade against those who tarnish the game with malicious motives and insidious intent.
I trust her, love her and will go to the mat for her every time.

So Dr. Gibson, that is who I play for.

Readers, especially those who play football, but all of you who play any sport, leave a comment and let us know who you play for.

Originally posted 04/18/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

The hardest thing about losing this weekend was the price of losing.

First off, there was the stripped pride of dropping to 2nd in our division. The record is tied for first, but we have allowed more points than the other girls.

Next was the cost in health. At least six of us were taken out of the game. Some for more time than others, but most for at least the night. We are all thankful there are no career ending injuries, but the jury is still out on the return date for some of us.

I think the very most frustrating thing is the feeling. I have been on several great teams in several great sports. All of these sports involved practice and on most teams there was a deep feeling of family. I still miss the Dirty Girls. But this team, this sport, this season feels different. I think some of it may be the work in preparation. It seems so much more like hard work than other sports. I have shed blood sweat and tears with these ladies in practice and in games. With the extreme closeness comes extreme regret at loss.

The great news is it also comes with extreme support and preparation for the next challenge.
Our team has a great chance at taking the division with 5 games remaining and 2 of them against the other 2 and 1 team. I think we are playoff bound.

Who knows, maybe we will get a chance to tangle with West Michigan again. That will be a spectacular game.

Originally posted 04/10/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

Originally posted 04/10/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

After our second game of the season and home opener last night in Toledo, Thee Toledo Reign remain undefeated in 2011. The team has pulled together for a second straight win and a second straight game allowing no points to be scored against us. Our defense is amazing. There is no other way to describe it.

Food for thought for anyone out there who may not think the Reign is the real deal this year. In the first half of game 1 we tied the amount of points scored all season last year. By the end of that game we had eclipsed the combined point totals of 2009 and 2010. The win last night ties the combined wins of 2009 and 2010. We have more points scored than any other team in our conference and are 3rd in the league overall at this point and remain one of only a handful of teams who have allowed 0 points against us.

This team is a contender.

While the team performed excellently last night, it was not my best night of football. In only my second game ever I did start at left offensive tackle but my performance was not as strong as in game one. My rookie status showed some against this team and some changes were made in the 3rd quarter to make up for my deficiencies. I still got to play but it felt like failure. What I need to remember is that this was only my second game of football ever. I shouldn’t expect to be perfect in all situations. I am a rookie and it showed last night.

The next step is to get that out of my head and get prepared for Michigan next week. They will potentially be our toughest game this season. We are riding some great momentum into week 3 and this Reign team will be a contender against the Mayhem. It will take work though, so this week will be a lot of mental preparation, continued work on my stamina and tons of game film study. We can do this. We will do this.

Closing out the game 2 post I would like to say thank you to Head Coach Mitchi Collette, Offensive Coordinator Pam Whetstone, Defensive Coordinator Mike Jimenez and Special Teams Coach Billy Lewis. My try out was relatively late in the pre-game schedule and they have all been extremely supportive during this learning process for me. I also want to thank owner Beth Razzogg who has been incredibly supportive or a 42 year old rookie who lives 2 hours from Toledo. In addition, thank you to JD Riley who put me in touch with the Reign to begin with. Most of all, however, a BIG WOOT of thanks to my incredible team mates who are among the best athletes I have had the honor of playing with in any sport during my 35+ years in sports.

I am blessed to be part of this team.

Originally posted 03/13/2011 – Reposted with new site design.

I’m not used to being the most out of shape woman on the field. I’m used to being the one who can hit further, throw harder, hit for cycle every game. My last year playing ball with the Dirty Girlz I wasn’t in the greatest shape I have ever been in, but I was in better shape than I am now. This is something I felt all too well in 2009, the last time I played a couple games with them.

I miss that team.

God has led me to a place I am excited about. A seemingly random series of events enabled me to try out for Thee Toledo Reign. We are a professional women’s team in the Women’s Football Alliance or WFA. I am blessed to have the opportunity to play with such a strong team.
Already I have found some kindred spirits at all levels from the team. I am humbled by the optimistic acceptance from everyone.

But I am disappointed.
In me.

When I told my dad I was playing he told me that conditioning was the most important factor. He said I would be using muscles I haven’t used in any other sports I have played. As usual, he was right.
I am totally beat up and love it. My disappointment isn’t from the difficulty of practice or even my performance in scrimmage. It is with how horribly out of shape I am.

I expect better of myself.
I suppose I need patience with myself right now, but I feel like I am letting these great people down.
That kills me.

So, for me, it’s watching my diet and working on my overall conditioning.
I will try to keep the blog up to date with stuff.

Pray for me.